A Simple Life Philosophy

Note: My lovely Scottish friend Fiona introduced me to this magic phrase. When a Scot says "I can't be arsed", it means, roughly, "I just can't be bothered." Except in a more Scottish way than that. Thanks,Fiona!

I Can’t Be Arsed                 peri lyons c 2009

there's laundry in my living room

it's certainly not clean

it's starting to evolve into a life form never seen

There's dishes in my kitchen

The color of old litchen

Is this what they mean by going green?

But I am calm and half amused

Im almost never stressed

If I don't have clean clothes to wear, why bother getting dressed?

Tranquillity is mine at last

Those days of worrying are past

here's the philosophy I fin'ly feel is best

I can't be arsed

I can't be arsed

I can't be bothered shamed cajoled or even forced

I can't be arsed

I can't be bothered

In fact, I can't even be arsed enough to find a rhyme for bothered

When you give up

Then life is sweet

the world falls at your slightly stinky feet

I don't return men's calls

It drives them crazy

They think I'm hard to get but really Im just lazy

I just don't care about

The daily grind

It was either lose my standards or slowly lose my mind

I did try yoga

And chanting too

But here's what worked for me and it'll work for you

Just don't be arsed

I cant be arsed

I cant be shamed cajoled or ever ever forced

I can't be arsed!

What's worth the bother?

If you do one dish, there'll just be another

So don't clean your house or do the laundry, be a total roundheel

The first five years are tough but after that it's simply downhill

And when your friends stop coming by or visiting or calling

Because they love you but let's face it, the smell is just appalling

They will all keel over young of heartattacks and ulcers

But I'll live to one hundred two, because I just say "NO SIR--

I CAN'T BE ARSED!!!