Adam Cvijanovic’s Post-Natural History at Postmasters Gallery

Adam Cvijanovic’s Post-Natural History at Postmasters Gallery

Best show I have seen this year. Bar none.

Secrets of The Universe-REVEALED!

Secrets of The Universe

The Universe is very big, and very mysterious. There are some scientists, however, who claim it only looks mysterious because it's far away.  And because it's very very dark. These scientists claim that the Universe is not actually full of Mystery: that it's actually just full of Math, and is only pretending to be Mysterious, because it didn't get good grades in calculus.. They also claim that the Universe is five hundred thousand billion years old*, whereas the Universe claims to be 39.

As I am a professional mystic, the Universe has revealed some of its deepest, darkest secrets to me. Now, for the first time, The Universe's REAL secrets...REVEALED.

Here are a few of the Universe's most closely guarded secrets:

1) The Universe wet the bed until it was 5 million years old.

2) The Universe's favorite game is "Worlds With Friends".

3) Occasionally, the Universe, giggling madly, will spell out really dirty words across the sky, using leftover stars. So far? No one's noticed.

4) The Universe occasionally whispers, the following phrase to itself: "Hey--"I'm a ME-niverse!"

5) The Universe likes toast. But it's hard to get it delivered. More often than not, it arrives either stone cold ? or too far in the future, to eat.

6) The Universe thinks Saturn is, frankly, a little pompous. The rings? A little showy. A little too.."moderne". Yes...Saturn's up to something, the Universe thinks. -But what??

7) The Universe watches every TV show ever, all the time. It thinks 1950's game show host Bill Cullen is what every human looks like. It approves.

8) The Universe has many secrets. One time, it fell asleep and some galaxies went sideways. It put them back but The Universe really hopes the duct tape, holds. 

9) The Universe hums Mozart every Wednesday morning. It listens to NPR, but millions of years too late.  

10) The Universe knows your home address, and wants to send you brownies. But somehow? It never finds the time.

"Good nigh"t, says the Universe. "I have told you some secrets. Now turn off the Hubble for a day or two, so I can take a shower."

xoxo pl 2012

* The age of the Universe is another Mystery. I solved this one quite easily, by the simple expedient of Making It Up. -Shut up, it's Quantum.

                       

"Don't Be A Stranger" (lyrics)

"Don't Be A Stranger"

         

                                                   Lyrics: Peri Lyons  C.Juicyfruit Music/ASCAP 2012 all rights reserved

When we met- I don’t know why- you somehow felt like home.

You saw me to my soul, I saw.. Could I stand being known?

I couldn’t feel desire, back then, without some shallow "danger"...

But when I left you smiled again, and said : “Don’t be a stranger”

I wouldn’t kiss you, then, as well, ‘cause I desired another: 

Another shallow boy, who cared for no one but himself.

I truly thought love was a toy, and that there was no other

Way to love that was "exciting", so I put you on a shelf.

[chorus]

“Don’t be a stranger”-  

You meant more than I knew

I knew that I would never be a stranger- not to you- 

“Don’t be a stranger”

This was your gentle art

You taught me slowly not to be, a stranger to my heart

 [bridge:]

Just friends again for so long –then- I let myself be kissed

 And what I was so scared of,  I’m scared now I almost missed

My fear of boredom was the reason that I’d always flown:

Turns out the biggest bore of all,  was never being known

“Don’t be a stranger”

You meant more than I knew

You knew that I could never be a stranger- not to you- 

“Don’t be a stranger”

This was your gentle art:

You taught me slowly not to be

A stranger to my heart

We mostly are the opposite of how we play the world:

The ship that looks the fastest, never’s had its sails unfurled

The recipe that looks the best’s , the one’s that’s never made

The man who seems a player, is the man winds up played...

The love that travels deepest, is the love that never strayed;

The man who plays for keeps, is the one man who can’t be played;

The love who truly loves you, first can TRULY feel like danger;

The strangest and the strongest love is only when you’re not a stranger.

“Don’t be a stranger”

You meant more than I knew:

You knew that I would never be a stranger- not to you- 

“Don’t be a stranger”...

This was your gentle art:

You taught me slowly not to be

A stranger to my heart

(coda)

I’ll never be a stranger now, no matter where I roam

You showed me what freedom is 

when 

you gave 

this strange and stranger’s heart…

A home.

Peri Lyons  juicyfruit music/ASCAP 2012