24 April 2012

Coffee, Farm Animals, and Yahtzee: 8 AM

"The rain it raineth every day
Upon the just and unjust fella;
But more upon the just, because
The unjust hath the just's umbrella."
-Anon.


 8: AM     Friday

Walking in the park this morning, I noticed what seemed to be an unusually large and rather oddly shaped, dog. being walked by a resigned-looking woman in her 50's. Didn't pay too much attention...was drinking deli coffee and staring uncomprehendingly at the "Times"..but when the dog said something unusual, I looked up quickly. Because what the dog said? Was: "GRUNT."

I said, "What?"

"GRUNT", said the dog,  because he was a pig. A 150 lb pig (I used to work as a "guess your pig's weight" girl at carnivals). Black and white.  A huge black and white HOG.

I stood up, and making a great show of looking completely unconcerned, strolled by, surreptitiously staring at said pig. Apparently the hem of my nonchalance was showing, because the woman glared at me.

I thought, but did not say, "YOU'RE the one walking a ginormous farm animal here, pal. And you don't want attention???"

As I walked on, I saw a young woman with a little white dog on a leash. She was saying to the dog, "Oh, look, Binky! There's your friend! Your friend the piggie-wiggie!"

The dog said, "No. NOT friend. No. BIG pig. Big SCARY pig. Bite me. Not friend EVER."

The woman said, "Let's go say hi!!"

The little dog said, desperately, "Look, I think ..I think I might be a ..cat. Yes. I'm a cat.  Can we go home and discuss this? -Like, now? Immediately? Possibly by yesterday? I have to leave. Truly. Bye now.". He slipped his collar, and fled.

I walked off. His owner had caught him. He was going to have to say Hi To The Pig. -And with any luck, she wouldn't have to change Binky's name to "Breakfast".

I still don't know what happened.

**********************************************************
9 AM

Having fun dating. I know, that sounds like an insane thing to say, but it's true.. It's fun to re-learn all this stuff. It's fun to talk to great looking, accomplished guys, although some of them are obviously a little more used to dating the Girls Who SELL Paintings, rather than the Girls Who Are IN Paintings.-Which is fine. if I can bring a little Bad Ass Bohemia in a minidress, into the lives of finance guys, I'm more than pleased to help out. 

My girlfriends tell me I should "play more games' with my dates. So I brought Yahtzee to the Boom Boom Room. -Should I have tried "Pictionary"?


******************************

So? Look for me in the park, at 8 AM.  I'll have deli coffee, a copy of The Times, an enormous farm animal on an inadequate leash, and a game of "Yahtzee". (-Or "Pictionary.")

And if there are are several tall, blonde women, who answer that description?

-I'll be the one who's smiling.

xxooo






Post a Comment