11 January 2011

"Closure: It Isn't Just For Doors and Windows Anymore!"

[brief note from the authoress: ]
      People are continuing to send me stuff about my ex, and here's what I have to say about that: He seems radiantly happy and successful; his gf seems adorable, exuberant and quite pretty; they seem VERY well suited; and he is handsomer and more successful than ever. And really-isn't what what we WANT for the people we've cared about in our lives? It doesn't, in the end, matter , what roads you take to find love, or if there's some ouchiness involved in the process...it's temporary, and usually the people involved have had lessons to learn and any "temporary ouchiness" has actually been an integral part of the process of learning, healing and growing. What matters, ultimately, is that you FIND love, no matter how briefly bumpy the road to get there, seemed at the time. EVERYONE's individual happiness, contributes to the happiness of everyone else on the planet. Including me. And if one is not suited to someone in the longterm, it's an actual BLESSING to find that out sooner rather than later. So ultimately? It's truly a win-win situation for all concerned.
Besides: without the lessons and growth of the last six months, I wouldn't have found my present happiness and peace in a loving primary relationship, with someone I respect and am starting to love and am learning to have tremendous fun with: Yup...me. Corny but true. I'm dating the woman who writes this blog and we're enjoying getting to know each other and seeing where this will go. [Note to the more literal minded: the"'woman who writes this blog" is me: this is a riff on self-acceptance, not a 'coming-out" piece.]

So: If you have to burn down the house in order to get the best view of the landscape, well then--somebody hand me that match. [Figuratively speaking, of course. This is NOT an incentive to arson.]

And? All is as it should be and all is good. I wish them the fantastic future they're going to have, and that's all I've ever say about this subject again, which is now -very happily--in everyone's past so let's get on with the present of the future! Onward and upward! Whoo-hoo! -And no, that WASN'T the meds just kicking in. -Thanks for asking, though.

Have been living in an artists' collective until I figure out what my next forward step for happiness and growth, is, in terms of living situations-where why and how.-- But meanwhile? It's FUN. There's live (and quite good music) all the time, with people traipsing in and out to rehearse; there's an added bonus in that many of them are very attractive; if a friend and I want to take up the big central table for a Sunday afternoon making crazy collage and art pieces, nobody bats an eyelash; and the parties are AWESOME. -I don't always attend them, as I have writing and other  actual work to do, but it's nice to know they're there. The age range of the flatmates goes from mid20s to mid40's: they're all successful in their chosen fields or getting that way fast; and the contents of the communal fridge make for constantly amusing biographical footnotes. Fodder for pleasant deductive musings: did X have yet another date that ended with a handshake and a doggy bag of Indian leftovers? Is Z ever coming back for her kimchee, because it seems to have been taking assertiveness training in the meantime, and has now taken the broccoli hostage; will peri ever eat anything ever again aside from apples, sunflower butter and soymilk?  -The neighborhood is pleasantly colorful, and it's filled with useful life lessons: for instance, 99 cent stores actually sell stuff for the same amount or MORE than NON 99cent stores; Spanish is a very important and useful language to know/learn..and so is Urdu; and and the "M" in "M Train" ACTUALLY means that it's run by the Marquis de Sade. It's a special experimental MTA "commuter torture" program designed to make riders so grateful to actually see a train ARRIVE that they're brainwashed into never complaining about anything else transit related again. ("M" for "manchurian commuter candidate?" Hmmm.)

So now? Off to see if the Internet says that it's snowing; have an apple and sunflowee seed butter sandwich  -soymilk on the side; and make a collage using glitter, Urdu, and 99 Cent Store receipts with the prices circled. -hey...it's 5 in the morning in Bushwick..you don't think I'm going OUTSIDE, do you? 

love, peace,happiness and a big cup of hot chai tea-

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