05 November 2010

This is what happens when you stay up all night because you have to catalogue your song lyrics for publishing, while taking breaks to read Rudyard Kipling poems. While eating figs. You wind up rewriting a ten year old lyric of yours, in a very specific style: the internal rhymes,insistent rhythms and general showoffiness of the poems of Rudyard Kiplong.Then you ask yourself "And who exactly is going to sing this? Is Taylor Swift right now stomping her skinny-ass little feet and shouting "I WANT A CLASSIC COUNTRY SONG! YET WRITTEN IN A METRICAL STYLE REMINISCENT OF VICTORIAN WRITER RUDYARD KIPLING'S POEMS!! NOW, Dang it!"-Well, who knows. Maybe she is. And maybe i am a dish of eggplant parmesian.-You never know.
I also have a great lyric about the auction of the effects of a famous Cambridge-educated Englishman, who became a Russian Communist spy and wound up in alcoholic exile, in Moscow, in a tiny apartment filled, to the last, with the touchstone artifacts of his upper class ness: a silver martini shaker, a perfect Knox top hat, etc.
Yup. I bet Mariah carey is RIGHT NOW asking her people to find EXACTLY that song. For her. To sing. Yes!-Did I mention already that  the chances of that happening are roughly equal to the chance that I might actually be a delicious Italian dish with eggplant and tomato sauce? -Right. Okay then.
ALL LYRICS C 2010 PERI LYONS/Valley Cottage Music/Registered 2010 ASCAP

******************************************************************************************ThA Country Western Song, Written After Reading Too Much Rudyard Kipling Verse

When I first saw you I was nonplused
Your lips were wet and your hair was mussed
(Something about you my girl didn't trust-)
my mind said "something's missin'"
my heart said "I won't listen"
I tried to be dismissin you
Until it came to kissin you
I left my nuclear family and went straight to nuclear fission, you

And now my baby's bags are in the hall
The girl who really loves me's up and gone
You thought I thought I loved you
But I don’t return your call
And now my life's a country western song
You done me right- and then I done her wrong

when I first saw you I said to myself
she's whiskey walkin and she's top shelf
-sure she has looks, but I have my health-
-my baby said “You staying?”
I  didn’t think of straying
But five beers later on, it’s not my mind I was obeying

Well, I got home when dawn was in the sky
My baby said "You know this means goodbye"
I tried to bluff and bluster
I said she'd lost her luster;
She said "And you'll lose something,
 if you don't skedaddle, Buster...!"

My girl said “Bye, you’ll miss me when I’m gone-
You love her now but you won’t love her long”
Now I'm alone at night
Turns out my girl was right
I rue the day that I confused
True love, with  appetite

And now my baby's stuff is in the hall
The one who really loves me's up and gone
You thought I thought I loved you
But I don't return your call
And now my life's a country western song
You done me right and then I done her wrong
You did it right but baby it was  wrong
And now my life's a country western song.